Dressed in pink, blue, or red shirts, Grade One students came to school with their moms in color-coordinated tops and all excited for their Mother-Daughter Activity.
Before the fun games, moms attended an interesting talk on Loving Demands by Mrs. Fatima Escasa. She shared that the development of a positive concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children and teenagers. She also went on to say that this period of 6-8 years of age is a good time to teach children to be more independent and responsible. By this time, children can dress themselves, catch a ball more easily using only their hands, and tie their shoes. Having independence from family becomes more important now. Moving to the big school brings children this age into regular contact with the larger world. Friendships become more and more important. Physical, social, and mental skills develop quickly at this time. This is a critical time for children to develop confidence in all areas of life, such as through friends, schoolwork, and sports. And allowing them some independence and giving them age appropriate responsibilities are ways we can foster their healthy development.
Here are some practical and age-appropriate tips from Mrs. Escasa on how to build self-esteem and mold young children in the virtue of responsibility:
On self-esteem:
- When you feel good about your daughter, mention it to her. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and “replay” these statements to themselves.
- Be generous with praise. Use what is called descriptive praise to let your child know when she is doing something well. When she completes a task or chore you could say, “I really like the way you straightened your room. You found a place for everything and put each thing in its place.”
- Teach your daughter positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is behind depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave. Some examples of useful self-talk are: “I can get this problem, if I just keep trying.” “It’s OK if our team lost today. We all tried our best and you can’t win them all.”
- Avoid criticism that takes the form of ridicule or shame.
- Teach your daughter about decision-making and to recognize when she has made a good decision.
- Develop a positive approach to providing structure for your child. Remember that discipline should be fair, firm and friendly.
On independence and responsibility:
- Provide security. Children will naturally become independent if they’ve been raised in an environment where they feel secure. For example, when doing homework, you can let your child work on her own first while you sit beside her and you do your own work. Your presence can make her feel confident that you’re available should she need some help.
- Allow her to make mistakes. Find the balance between hovering and permissive parenting. When your child is allowed to realize natural consequences they’ll learn that they’re capable of handling things and making decisions.
- Give her chores. Start a small child out by having her make her bed and put away toys. Several studies have proven that having household responsibilities as children is one of the strongest predictors of adult success.
- Find a pet that she would like and help her learn how to care for it. This teaches them to be responsible for another living thing.
- Let her be responsible for the consequences of her actions. Allow them to make choices for themselves. Teach them that life is not like bumper cars – there are consequences for everything you do in this world.